6 Best Man Mistakes To Avoid

Who is the best man?

The role of the best man is typically bestowed upon the groom’s closest friend or family member, although this varies depending on the dynamics of the couple and their individual preferences of course. Traditionally, the best man is often a sibling or a very close friend, but we’ve heard of Dads, Grandfathers, and even sons being chosen for the position!

The key when deciding your best man is to pick someone who the couple truly trusts and can rely upon throughout the planning process and on the big day.

What’s the best man's job?

The best man’s job is a big one, and you’ll act as the groom’s right-hand man in the lead-up to the wedding and on the day itself. You’ll be the groom’s counterpart to the Maid of Honour and will be entrusted with crucial duties and responsibilities on behalf of the groom.

So what exactly are these duties and responsibilities? Obviously, this varies on the groom and what his expectations are, however below is a list of things that commonly are the best man’s responsibility.

• Help to choose the suits.
• Help the groom with any pre-wedding planning & organisation.
• Plan the buck’s party (if you need some assistance in this department, we've got your back!).
• Help the groom get ready on the day.
• Look after the wedding rings.
• Greet the guests.
• Sign the marriage license as a witness.
• Give the best man’s speech.

6 Best Man Mistakes to Avoid

Being unorganised - Even if being on time and organised isn’t your strong point, now is the time to pull it together! You’ll need to wrangle the groomsmen and ensure that everyone has their suits organised, that the buck's party plans are confirmed, and that everyone is where they need to be on the big day. There’s a lot to think about, but we know you can do it.

Not being upfront with your financial situation - Talking money can be tricky. But, there can be a bit of cost involved in being a part of the wedding party, so if you don’t think you have the cash for it, let the groom know now. Whilst we’re talking finances, when you’re planning the buck’s party, ensure you’re upfront with those invited about what the cost is going to be so they know what they’re in for also.

Not being available - You don’t need to be on call 24/7 between now and the wedding, but within reason, you kinda need to be there for your boy! Whether it’s being there for emotional support or there to fix his tie, you’ve been chosen as the best man for a reason, as your mate knows he can rely on you, so it’s time to deliver. 

Encouraging destructive behaviour - “Oh but for old time’s sake let’s just do XYZ” No. If it’s potentially harmful to the groom and his relationship, don’t do it. This mainly goes for the buck’s party, but also on the day of the wedding. Don’t be encouraging the groom to be downing a bunch of shots before the ceremony, and don’t be filling him with beer at the reception so he’s soo sloshed he doesn’t even remember the night.

Partying too hard - Sure, enjoy a beer but don’t drink the bar dry and get stupid!

Writing an inappropriate speech -this is a big one so let’s expand a little further;

Mistakes to avoid in a best man's speech

• Don’t make it all about you. Keep it concise, 5-7 minutes is generally plenty of time for you to say what you need to say. If things are going well, try to avoid ad-libbing and going rogue as you run the risk of losing the crowd, people getting distracted, and getting bored.

• Mind your storytelling. Can you shorten your story into a single gag rather than a rambling tale that never ends? Likewise, limit the anecdotes you do tell, pick 1 or 2 to go into detail with, remember not everyone knows the groom like you do, so if the story relies on having intimate knowledge of the groom, many people may not get it.

• Don’t bring up his exes. This should be obvious, but it’s still worth mentioning. Just don’t do it.

• Have a laugh but don’t totally embarrass the guy! Balance is key, a few friendly digs or a couple of cheeky jokes is totally acceptable (if it’s tasteful!), but don’t go overboard. This isn’t a roast session, so ensure you mix in your teasing with some nice words about the guy, you’re his best man after all!

• Mind the bride. Similar to the point above, don’t embarrass the bride. She should be an off-limits topic of jokes for the speech. No matter how close you may be with the couple, remember her family and friends are there and this is just not the time to be making fun of her.

• Try to keep it clean. We’ve already talked about the content of the speech, this is more about the language you’re using. Try to hold back on your swearing, it’s not the buck’s party, and chances are the room won’t appreciate a speech full of f*#ks.

• Actually, know your speech! We assume you wrote it, but what we mean is actually learn what you wrote down. Try and remember at least some parts of the speech, so you can deliver particular parts from memory. This keeps the crowd engaged and entertained rather than just reading line for line what you wrote down. Be confident, look up, and make eye contact, you’ve got this!

All in all, our final piece of advice to you is to be solutions orientated and communicate with the groom. Know what he expects from you as his best man, and when problems arise, as they are bound to occur, focus on what you can do to solve them. Approach each situation with adaptability, rather than being frustrated when unexpected issues arise, and offer your assistance in finding the best solution.